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This also refines the build process for the ext_server build.

The memory changes and multi-variant change had some merge
glitches I missed.  This fixes them so we actually get the cpu llm lib
and best variant for the given system.

This switches darwin to dynamic loading, and refactors the code now that no
static linking of the library is used on any platform

This reduces the built-in linux version to not use any vector extensions
which enables the resulting builds to run under Rosetta on MacOS in
Docker.  Then at runtime it checks for the actual CPU vector
extensions and loads the best CPU library available

In some cases we may want multiple variants for a given GPU type or CPU.
This adds logic to have an optional Variant which we can use to select
an optimal library, but also allows us to try multiple variants in case
some fail to load.

This can be useful for scenarios such as ROCm v5 vs v6 incompatibility
or potentially CPU features.