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Same bucketing strategy for OSS and SDP:
sort everything ahead of time, per rank and per size, smaller tensors first. Bucket the smallest elements in a fixed buffer, send async, then send all the others async, and get back to the bucket. Once done then scatter the contents if needed

- adding the buffer broadcast option
- minor cleanup in shardedDDP

- rename oss_ddp to ShardedDataParallel
- some refactoring
- ShardedDataParallel owns the sharded optimizer, exposed if need be
- some small perf bumps

- added train(mode) method to be aware of eval mode

Co-authored-by: Min Xu <m1n@fb.com>